happy anniversary to me

Good Morning, you Beautiful People!

I feel strangely peaceful today. My mind is rather quiet, and I have a lazy-going, take the day at its own pace vibe. It's strange in the most beautiful way. I'm feeling rather zen, which doesn't happen often with an ADHD brain. I like it.

Today is my 31st Wedding anniversary. I essentially moved in with my then-to-be husband on our fourth date (I've always thought it was the third date; I suppose because that makes for good storytelling), so we've been together for 32 years, 2 months, and 2 days. Just two weeks before the 1993 Blizzard. There's something special about being snowbound with the person you love when something deep inside knows it's a forever love. I love that I can remember that feeling, and can still feel tucked deep inside, where no one can ever take it away.

Love changes with time. It might lose its polish, but it grows in depth. A Valentine's Day in the 90s might have been about flowers, a fancy meal, and some jewelry, but the Valentine's Day when I went shopping for adult diapers and baby wipes for John's elderly father was filled with just as much love, maybe even more, than the early love. It was just wrapped in a slightly different package.

I'm feeling strong in my sobriety, comfortable with my food choices, and still trying to figure out where I stand in terms of financial health and spending. I'll figure it out.

I hope that you find something beautiful today, it can be something small like a flower blossom or it can be as vast as the Universe. It is there. Sometimes we hunt for the beauty, other times the beauty finds us. When you feel it, embrace it.

Thank you, as always, for being here.

unsaid promises

unsaid promises


I scream at your back, see your reflection,
weary of your constant inspection.
Waiting for something we never saw,
when did we lose our childlike awe?
Our fear lies dormant, revives now and then,
unsaid promises fighting again.


1983

[An offering from past me...and I'm happy to report that I found my striped journal while looking for the Valentine's card I gave to John three years in a row -- it was going to be his anniversary card this year, but I appear to have lost it.]