in my attempt to fix myself, i created another fix to fill

Good Morning, you Beautiful People!

After sorting through what I have been doing, what I haven't been doing, and what systems I have in place to support those things, I fell into the vast rabbit hole of the many PDFs and documents I have downloaded or created. These were supposed to be "the ultimate way to organize my time," "keep my house clean," or even "plan the perfect pantry and meals." It was a lot.

At first, I was perusing them, trying to find their wisdom, but in the end, I deleted most of them. I had a bit of an epiphany: In my attempt to "fix myself," I created another way of "needing a fix." I hope that's clear. Let me rephrase: I was fixated on finding the perfect system (preferably a system someone else created, and I could just slide into their machine and take over) to fix my life.

Guess what? My life doesn't need "a fix;" it may even be "unfixable." Not because it's irreparably damaged but because life doesn't need fixing. It needs coping. It needs working. It needs, well, it needs living. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I streamlined my basic daily requirements into two routines: Rise & Shine and PM Reset. These are the things that, if I do them every day, life (and the household) is more or less manageable; then, I rehoned my weekly list of daily focus items and set up alarms on my phone for reminders to keep me on track:

• Rise and Shine

• What's for breakfast?

• Do the thing.

• What's for lunch?

• Do the thing

• Take a walk and take 10

• What's for dinner?

• PM Reset

"Do the thing" means working on the primary focus for the day, which I record in my planner. For repeating tasks that happen monthly, I'm using my Google calendar (I might drop Google, but I need a calendar that I can use both on my computer and phone). I'm removing most of the daily/weekly reminders unless it's a task I'm struggling with completing.

So there you have it, a summary of where I'm going with tidying up my systems to keep my life from exploding. This, for me, is a crucial part of recovery, as an exploding life has always been a trigger for engaging with DOC/BOC.

I hope you find something beautiful in your day, and, as always, thank you for being here.